Socially intelligent individuals are aware of the emotions and intentions of themselves and others. No matter what the social situation is, they attempt to make everyone involved feel comfortable and valued. Socially intelligent people are perceptive of others feelings and honest about their own and are generally adept at fostering healthy relationships.
How to demonstrate this Character Strength:
Movies: Driving Miss Daisy (1989), Children of a Lesser God (1986), K-Pax (2001), The Five Senses (2001-Canadian).
Music: Lean on Me (Al Green), You’ve Got A Friend (James Taylor or Mariah Carey), Time After Time (Cyndi Lauper), Bridge Over Troubled Water (Simon and Garfunkel or Johnny Cash), I’ll Be There For You (The Rembrants)
Suggested strategies that correlate with this strength:
- Withhold a powerful and decisive argument which will win you the discussion but might hurt someone at least twice a month
- Listen to your friends and siblings empathically without preparing rebuttals, and simply reflect your feelings.
- If someone offends you, attempt to find at least one positive element in their motives.
- Attend an uncomfortable social situation as an active observer and describe what you observe without any judgements.
- Note and appreciate others in the light of their positive attributes
- Write five personal feelings daily for four weeks and monitor patterns
- Watch a favourite TV program or film muted and write feelings observed.
- Express feelings appropriately to someone you have not done so far, and process them together.
- Ask someone close to you about times you did not emotionally understand him/ her and how he/ she would like to be emotionally understood in the future.
- Listen to others with unconditional regard.
- Notice when your family and friends grow. Congratulate them and record specific observations
- Identify which of your friends relates most emphatically with others. Observe them closely.
- When working with others, emphasize the value of being agreeable.
- In you close relationships, speak plainly and directly about your needs and wishes
- Perceive and acknowledge thee sincere gestures of a friend.
By monitoring the above, you will be able to catch when there is an incongruence in this personal strength. An incongruence will compromise you and cause inner conflict, so the above will help you keep on the right track.
Yours in wellness,
Clinical Director I Brain Training Australia I Perth WA
Niemiec, R. M, 2017, Character Strengths Interventions, Hogrefe, Boston
Tayyab, R., Anjum, A., 2005, 340 Ways to Use VIA Character Strengths, University of Pennsylvania